I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
