you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This is the high leading the old right now
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
