she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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