My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
