the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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