I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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