saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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