Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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