You just made me feel so damn special
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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