Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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