reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
