i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
