Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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