at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're like the curious george of whores
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
