i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
