hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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