And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
