you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
