Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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