your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
