Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
