did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
