woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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