the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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