Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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