your room smells of hookers.
And success
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
