sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
