My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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