craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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