I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish you could order shots online.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
