need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
