So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
