I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize