Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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