i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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