cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
