you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
