ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
