I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
