Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
