If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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