let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
