Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
