All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
