oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
