I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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