Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
