I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
