I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
