It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
