I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
