Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
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