The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
