I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
