too bad you live with your parents still
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
