I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
