He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
