Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize